← Back to EarthCOMING SOON. ISH.

Introducing YBOS Space Travel

Visit your
bit of space.

Owning a symbolic cubic mile of the universe is one thing. Getting there is, apparently, quite another.

Our aerospace division has a kettle, a very large notebook and absolutely no intention of letting a few fundamental laws of physics spoil a good idea.

This is a joke travel programme. We sell symbolic certificate gifts, not space travel. No tickets, deposits or reservations are available.

YBOS AEROSPACE DIVISIONDRAWING 001 / PLAN A
PANORAMIC WINDOWFor looking very far away.OPTIMISM TANKRefill after every setback.ENGINE ASSEMBLYStill in the basket.TEA COMPARTMENTMission-critical.HEIGHT: CONFIDENTLY TALLTOP VIEW / PROBABLYPERSONAL SPACE SHUTTLESCALE: AMBITIOUS / REV 0.0.1
ENGINEERING STATUSLooks promising on paper.

Mission control / live-ish

Almost ready.
Again.

Every time we get close, something comes up.
Usually a question about the rocket.

Estimated time to launch VERY ESTIMATED

00Days
00Hours
02Minutes
49Seconds

Final checks: finding someone who has actually built a rocket.

Launch dates may move. Especially towards the future.

Your provisional travel itinerary

A trip of a lifetime.
Possibly most of it.

  1. T − 3 HOURS

    Check in. Reconsider.

    Arrive at our launch facility. Location to be confirmed once the owner of the car park gets back to us. Please have your certificate and a brave face ready.

    01
  2. T − 10 MINUTES

    The safety demonstration.

    Your crew will point to the exits. There is one. Please do not use it after departure. The seat pocket contains a sick bag and an encouraging note.

    02
  3. SOME TIME LATER

    Enjoy the journey.

    Stretch your legs within the permitted four centimetres. In-flight entertainment includes the window, the other window and a podcast downloaded in 2019.

    03
  4. EVENTUALLY

    View your property.

    Admire your symbolic cubic mile from a respectful distance. No fence required. Return travel is currently a separate page in the notebook.

    04

Pre-flight preparations

Travel light.
Worry heavily.

Our entirely fictional traveller checklist. Please do not take it to your GP.

01 / VACCINATIONS

A full course of optimism.

Booster required after every launch delay. Our anti-gravity jab is still refusing to stay in the syringe.

02 / DOCUMENTS

Passport. Certificate. Permission slip.

Your passport should be valid for at least six billion years. Visa applications are awaiting a reply from Jupiter.

03 / BAGGAGE

One small bag. No emotional baggage.

Bring a toothbrush, spare socks and something to read for several decades. Liquids limited to one comforting cup of tea.

04 / DRESS CODE

Smart casual. Airtight.

Please wear sensible shoes and a fully functioning spacesuit. A coat that “usually keeps the wind out” will not do.

Research and development

The progress report.

Rocket naming
COMPLETE
Drawing a rocket
COMPLETE
Making rocket noises
EXCEEDING TARGETS
Actual rocket
PENDING

We are delighted with three out of four of these results.

In the meantime, give them the universe

Skip the launch.
Send the certificate.

A personalised A4 gift certificate for £2.95.
Delivered by email. Considerably fewer G-forces.

Choose their bit of space ↗

A symbolic novelty gift. No legal ownership or actual journey included.